Pope Benedict XVI 2009 Lenten message

Dear Brothers and Sisters!

At the beginning of Lent, which constitutes an itinerary of more intense spiritual training, the Liturgy sets before us again three penitential practices that are very dear to the biblical and Christian tradition – prayer, almsgiving, fasting – to prepare us to better celebrate Easter and thus experience God’s power that, as we shall hear in the Paschal Vigil, “dispels all evil, washes guilt away, restores lost innocence, brings mourners joy, casts out hatred, brings us peace and humbles earthly pride” (Paschal Præconium). For this year’s Lenten Message, I wish to focus my reflections especially on the value and meaning of fasting. Indeed, Lent recalls the forty days of our Lord’s fasting in the desert, which He undertook before entering into His public ministry. We read in the Gospel: “Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. He fasted for forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was hungry” (Mt 4,1-2). Like Moses, who fasted before receiving the tablets of the Law (cf. Ex 34,28) and Elijah’s fast before meeting the Lord on Mount Horeb (cf. 1 Kings 19,8), Jesus, too, through prayer and fasting, prepared Himself for the mission that lay before Him, marked at the start by a serious battle with the tempter.

We might wonder what value and meaning there is for us Christians in depriving ourselves of something that in itself is good and useful for our bodily sustenance. The Sacred Scriptures and the entire Christian tradition teach that fasting is a great help to avoid sin and all that leads to it. For this reason, the history of salvation is replete with occasions that invite fasting. In the very first pages of Sacred Scripture, the Lord commands man to abstain from partaking of the prohibited fruit: “You may freely eat of every tree of the garden; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall die” (Gn 2, 16-17). Commenting on the divine injunction, Saint Basil observes that “fasting was ordained in Paradise,” and “the first commandment in this sense was delivered to Adam.” He thus concludes: “ ‘You shall not eat’ is a law of fasting and abstinence” (cf. Sermo de jejunio: PG 31, 163, 98). Since all of us are weighed down by sin and its consequences, fasting is proposed to us as an instrument to restore friendship with God. Such was the case with Ezra, who, in preparation for the journey from exile back to the Promised Land, calls upon the assembled people to fast so that “we might humble ourselves before our God” (8,21). The Almighty heard their prayer and assured them of His favor and protection. In the same way, the people of Nineveh, responding to Jonah’s call to repentance, proclaimed a fast, as a sign of their sincerity, saying: “Who knows, God may yet repent and turn from his fierce anger, so that we perish not?” (3,9). In this instance, too, God saw their works and spared them.

In the New Testament, Jesus brings to light the profound motive for fasting, condemning the attitude of the Pharisees, who scrupulously observed the prescriptions of the law, but whose hearts were far from God. True fasting, as the divine Master repeats elsewhere, is rather to do the will of the Heavenly Father, who “sees in secret, and will reward you” (Mt 6,18). He Himself sets the example, answering Satan, at the end of the forty days spent in the desert that “man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God” (Mt 4,4). The true fast is thus directed to eating the “true food,” which is to do the Father’s will (cf. Jn 4,34). If, therefore, Adam disobeyed the Lord’s command “of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat,” the believer, through fasting, intends to submit himself humbly to God, trusting in His goodness and mercy.

The practice of fasting is very present in the first Christian community (cf. Acts 13,3; 14,22; 27,21; 2 Cor 6,5). The Church Fathers, too, speak of the force of fasting to bridle sin, especially the lusts of the “old Adam,” and open in the heart of the believer a path to God. Moreover, fasting is a practice that is encountered frequently and recommended by the saints of every age. Saint Peter Chrysologus writes: “Fasting is the soul of prayer, mercy is the lifeblood of fasting. So if you pray, fast; if you fast, show mercy; if you want your petition to be heard, hear the petition of others. If you do not close your ear to others, you open God’s ear to yourself” (Sermo 43: PL 52, 320. 322).

In our own day, fasting seems to have lost something of its spiritual meaning, and has taken on, in a culture characterized by the search for material well-being, a therapeutic value for the care of one’s body. Fasting certainly bring benefits to physical well-being, but for believers, it is, in the first place, a “therapy” to heal all that prevents them from conformity to the will of God. In the Apostolic Constitution Pænitemini of 1966, the Servant of God Paul VI saw the need to present fasting within the call of every Christian to “no longer live for himself, but for Him who loves him and gave himself for him … he will also have to live for his brethren“ (cf. Ch. I). Lent could be a propitious time to present again the norms contained in the Apostolic Constitution, so that the authentic and perennial significance of this long held practice may be rediscovered, and thus assist us to mortify our egoism and open our heart to love of God and neighbor, the first and greatest Commandment of the new Law and compendium of the entire Gospel (cf. Mt 22, 34-40).

The faithful practice of fasting contributes, moreover, to conferring unity to the whole person, body and soul, helping to avoid sin and grow in intimacy with the Lord. Saint Augustine, who knew all too well his own negative impulses, defining them as “twisted and tangled knottiness” (Confessions, II, 10.18), writes: “I will certainly impose privation, but it is so that he will forgive me, to be pleasing in his eyes, that I may enjoy his delightfulness” (Sermo 400, 3, 3: PL 40, 708). Denying material food, which nourishes our body, nurtures an interior disposition to listen to Christ and be fed by His saving word. Through fasting and praying, we allow Him to come and satisfy the deepest hunger that we experience in the depths of our being: the hunger and thirst for God.

At the same time, fasting is an aid to open our eyes to the situation in which so many of our brothers and sisters live. In his First Letter, Saint John admonishes: “If anyone has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, yet shuts up his bowels of compassion from him – how does the love of God abide in him?” (3,17). Voluntary fasting enables us to grow in the spirit of the Good Samaritan, who bends low and goes to the help of his suffering brother (cf. Encyclical Deus caritas est, 15). By freely embracing an act of self-denial for the sake of another, we make a statement that our brother or sister in need is not a stranger. It is precisely to keep alive this welcoming and attentive attitude towards our brothers and sisters that I encourage the parishes and every other community to intensify in Lent the custom of private and communal fasts, joined to the reading of the Word of God, prayer and almsgiving. From the beginning, this has been the hallmark of the Christian community, in which special collections were taken up (cf. 2 Cor 8-9; Rm 15, 25-27), the faithful being invited to give to the poor what had been set aside from their fast (Didascalia Ap., V, 20,18). This practice needs to be rediscovered and encouraged again in our day, especially during the liturgical season of Lent.

From what I have said thus far, it seems abundantly clear that fasting represents an important ascetical practice, a spiritual arm to do battle against every possible disordered attachment to ourselves. Freely chosen detachment from the pleasure of food and other material goods helps the disciple of Christ to control the appetites of nature, weakened by original sin, whose negative effects impact the entire human person. Quite opportunely, an ancient hymn of the Lenten liturgy exhorts: “Utamur ergo parcius, / verbis cibis et potibus, / somno, iocis et arctius / perstemus in custodia – Let us use sparingly words, food and drink, sleep and amusements. May we be more alert in the custody of our senses.”

Dear brothers and sisters, it is good to see how the ultimate goal of fasting is to help each one of us, as the Servant of God Pope John Paul II wrote, to make the complete gift of self to God (cf. Encyclical Veritatis splendor, 21). May every family and Christian community use well this time of Lent, therefore, in order to cast aside all that distracts the spirit and grow in whatever nourishes the soul, moving it to love of God and neighbor. I am thinking especially of a greater commitment to prayer, lectio divina, recourse to the Sacrament of Reconciliation and active participation in the Eucharist, especially the Holy Sunday Mass. With this interior disposition, let us enter the penitential spirit of Lent. May the Blessed Virgin Mary, Causa nostrae laetitiae, accompany and support us in the effort to free our heart from slavery to sin, making it evermore a “living tabernacle of God.” With these wishes, while assuring every believer and ecclesial community of my prayer for a fruitful Lenten journey, I cordially impart to all of you my Apostolic Blessing.

From the Vatican, 11 December 2008.

Solving the Problem of Poverty

There is no solution to poverty; and anyone who claims to have a solution is just running for a political office. The Catholic Church has a way of handling it but does not have a way of eliminating poverty.

Christ, Himself, said, "The poor you will always have with you." St. Augustine explains that God made the poor man poor, and the rich man rich (though all rich men think they made themselves rich). He made the poor man poor because that's the best way for him to go to heaven -- by bearing his poverty. He made the rich man rich because that' the only way he can go to heaven, by generously giving to the poor. This is clearly shown in the parable of Lazarus and Dives.

The poor man needs only his poverty to save his soul. The rich man needs the poor to be saved. Note that in the mentioned parable the poor did not need the rich to be saved; but the rich needed the poor to be saved. The reason Dives went to hell is because he did not take advantage of the presence of Lazarus and use his riches to save his soul. If poverty is abolished, the rich man has no way by which to save his soul; if he had other ways of being saved, God would not have made him rich.

Now, how should the rich and poor relate to one another?

The Catholic Church has no stand on slavery. During the age of slavery , the Church was silent. However, the Church, as in the case of St. Paul, commanded the slaves to obey and respect their masters while with the same breath telling the masters to love their slaves. With such teachings, soon, the masters gave their beloved and obedient slaves their freedom and the slaves remained faithful and loyal friends of their former masters. That was the end of slavery. It only returned when Europe turned Protestant. Slavery returned with a vengeance.

The Church never condemned riches while praising poverty. She taught the poor to be contented with what they have, never to steal, never to go on strike or attend demonstrations. While with the same breath telling the rich to give generously to the poor, not only once a year, but continuously. The result is, as St. Paul described, the poor were never in want and the rich did not have too much in excess. Now that is a Catholic Society. But who will tell the poor not to go on strike and tell the rich to give more generously? No one. And herein lies the problem. Outside the Christian solution, there is no other solution. It is said that the solutions of the Catholic Church were not tried and found wanting. They were never tried. As it is turning out, we are a Catholic nation with a Protestant, Calvinistic social and economic setup.

The Catholic ethic would never make a nation into an economic giant. Pope Leo XIII had delineated the Catholic option in his Panis Humanus, the just wage. This concept can never make any businessman or nation very rich because a big portion of the profits goes to the poor workers. While the poor are contented because their needs are met.

Nations in Europe, who adopted economic systems close to the Catholic system, are labeled backward, like Spain, Ireland and even Italy; while thoroughly Protestant economies, like Switzerland, the Scandinavians, Germany, Britain and the United States are very progressive. The state of the Philippines being the only Catholic nation in the Far East is similar. She is behind Japan, Singapore, Hong Kong. But Catholic nations are catching up in that they are becoming Protestant in their economic outlook wherein the poor is neglected that profits may grow and business capital increase. When Catholic businessmen become un-Catholic, the poor in turn would become un-Catholic by going on strike.

Our present economic system was pioneered by the anti-Catholic Huguenots in France. The Calvinists actively fostered it. The Catholic nations of Europe rejected it and remained "backward." Calvinism works on the concept of keeping the workers fed enough to work well but poor enough to need the job. It is a form of slavery of the poor by men who have power just because they have wealth. They control the poor by arbitrarily depriving them of their livelihood. They enslave the poor because of their power to deprive the poor of food from their table and a roof over their heads. In a true Catholic state, no citizen is at the mercy of a mere possessor of wealth.

This Calvinistic economic system, wherewith man is used for the accumulation of wealth, is antagonistic to the Catholic Spirit. The Church has nothing against one possessing some machineries or stores for a living; it even respects the rights of man to acquire property. We are taking notice to the way an economy is handled.

It is, therefore, un-Catholic to say to the poor: it is your right to fight the rich merely because they are rich and in order to make yourselves less poor...which is the foundation of all revolutions. You can only say: I have the right to prevent the conditions of my life from becoming inhuman...which is the rationale for strikes. But neither can happen in a Catholic situation. It can happen in all other situations.

The problem in most economies is its origin, the Protestant ethic. The solution can only come from a Catholic ethic. The problem is due to a denial of Catholicism; the solution is an affirmation of Catholicism.

CONCLUSION: When the Catholic Church solved the problem of slavery, the slaves remained slaves and the masters remained masters. But because of Christian charity, the slaves were not treated as slaves but as part of the family and the masters did not behave arrogantly. The same applies with the poor and the rich. In a Christian society, the poor remain poor but are never lacking in their needs; while the rich remain rich, but not so rich because of their charity towards the poor.

But with the disappearance of Catholic ethics even in Catholic countries, slavery is coming back like a tide. It is all over. There is absolutely no charity between rich and poor, in fact, in the whole of society. The world economy is moving towards the re-establishment of a servile state, a new age of paganism...wherein man presumes to solve the problems of life with a non-existent future economic program...a power God never gave mankind.

The Catholic solution repeated so often through history and lastly enunciated by Pope Leo XIII is the only appropriate response to the problem of poverty. Only in a truly Catholic state can man live freely with a measure of joy and free from penury. We must solve this by starting from the beginning. But maybe its too late.

(Source: caryana.org)

New Year, New Me

This new year, I have one new year's resolution - just one. This new year, I resolve to make use of my time wisely. Time flies so quickly and it is something I can't get back. I must make conscious effort to make time work for me - to avoid idleness, be more productive, and put on more meaning to my existence. I resolve to make each moment count and avoid procrastination because time is precious.

I have never felt so hopeful in my life. Tonight, it's going to be very noisy outside and there is the usual media noche at the strike of midnight. Year in and year out it has always been the same - loud firecrackers to ward off the evil spirits, 12 pieces of round fruits for a prosperous year ahead, and other crazy things we do to make our life better for the coming year, and yet the much needed change is seldom seen because deep in our hearts we fail to silence the noise and contemplate. We fail to look inside to see what things needed to be changed.

Make this new year a different one. Make some life-shaking, earth-shattering changes in your life so that when 2009 ends, you have indeed something to celebrate.

Happy New Year!

Online Intimacy

Is it really possible to develop intimacy online? Read this interesting article on intimacy to find out what it takes to develop real and lasting intimacy. Here's my favorite section of the article:

If we are honest, the intimacy we all want is to be known for who we are—warts and all and still be loved. That intimacy can exist when we are prepared to do the same thing—to discover all the good and bad about someone else and then show them unconditional love.

Alessandro Serenelli's Final Letter

On July 6, the Church is celebrating the feast of St. Maria Goretti, virgin and martyr of purity, a remarkable girl who chose death rather than to give in to the advances of her murderer, Alessandro Serenelli. She is a stark contrast in our time where promiscuity seems to be the norm and chastity is held with so much contempt and ridicule. Much has been written and known about this saint and model of chastity, but we must also remember that Alessandro, though a confessed murderer, led a life of repentance after his conversion through the intercession of St. Maria Goretti. I just want to share his final letter addressed to all of us who are struggling with chastity. We can all relate to this man in one way or another and I hope that this letter would make us realize the value of chastity in living out our Christian faith. Let us learn from his example and be inspired.

"I'm nearly 80 years old. I'm about to depart this life. Looking back at my past, I can see that in my early youth, I chose a bad path which led me to ruin myself.

My behavior was influenced by print, mass-media and bad examples which are followed by the majority of young people without even thinking. And I did the same. I was not worried.

There were a lot of generous and devoted people who surrounded me, but I paid no attention to them because a violent force blinded me and pushed me toward a wrong way of life.

When I was 20 years-old, I committed a crime of passion. Now, that memory represents something horrible for me. Maria Goretti, now a Saint, was my good Angel, sent to me through Providence to guide and save me.

I still have impressed upon my heart her words of rebuke and of pardon. She prayed for me, she interceded for her murderer. Thirty years of prison followed. If I had been of age, I would have spent all my life in prison. I accepted to be condemned because it was my own fault.

Little Maria was really my light, my protectress; with her help, I behaved well during the 27 years of prison and tried to live honestly when I was again accepted among the members of society.

The Brothers of St. Francis, Capuchins from Marche, welcomed me with angelic charity into their monastery as a brother, not as a servant. I've been living with their community for 24 years, and now I am serenely waiting to witness the vision of God, to hug my loved ones again, and to be next to my Guardian Angel and her dear mother, Assunta.

I hope this letter that I wrote can teach others the happy lesson of avoiding evil and of always following the right path, like little children. I feel that religion with its precepts is not something we can live without, but rather it is the real comfort, the real strength in life and the only safe way in every circumstance, even the most painful ones of life."


Signature
Alessandro Serenelli

Thought Control

Our article for the week is about Thought Control . Our thoughts become the basis of our actions and the outcome of our actions basically spring from whether we have good thoughts or bad thoughts. Control the thought and you control the action. As easy as it sounds but it can get kind of frustrating. In my case, most of the time, it all begins with a thought - and that thought would lead me to view porn online and then to masturbation. In this article, we learn that stopping or avoiding bad thoughts is not enough - we must replace it with good ones too. Sure it will take time. You don't have to hit it right all the time, you just have to keep it going.

Church and SSA

Our topic for this week is about same-sex attraction and the Church. I hope you can find time to listen to Commander Craig's podcast over Catholic Radio 2.0. He is interviewing Fr. Paul Check, the new head of the Courage movement. Fr. Check explains the subject of same-sex attraction and answers questions from the Church's standpoint. He also explains the role of Courage in helping people with SSA to live chaste lives. Commander Craig hosts BlogTalk Radio and apparently also has some struggles with SSA. Interesting. Plus, hear the testimonies of two men who have come to know Courage and how it changed their lives for the better.

P.S.: If you intend to listen to the podcast, please turn off the MP3 player on my blog first coz it plays automatically. Thanks.

Will Your Life Be a Success Story?

I just want to share a positive thought from the book What Will Tomorrow Bring? by Deanna Beisser entitled Will Your Life Be a Success Story? Read on.

I think failure is giving up before you finish. It's having a chance and not taking it. It's telling yourself you can't do it before you even try.

I think failure is not utilizing all your potential and then claiming that you really don't have what it takes. It's selling yourself short and accepting that. It's believing in an outcome before it has happened. It is justifying giving up before you have even tried. Failure comes in all shapes and sizes. It is allowing someone or something to make your decisions for you.

One of the finest lessons in life that you will ever learn is that persistence and endurance are the best friends of success. They go everywhere that success goes. They even hold hands from time to time. They like the same places and they enjoy the same people. They really appreciate someone who is willing to work harder than they have to and who believes that they deserve to be recognized.

So if you are making friends with failure, then you must accept the fact that success won't want to travel around with you, because success likes people who are willing to be themselves and are not afraid of trying something new.

Success left a message
on your answering machine...
It said, "Call me back
as soon as you can."

Masturbation Addiction Help

Our article for the week is about masturbation. I hope you will be able to gain some insight and helpful tips on how to deal with this addiction that is enslaving many people including me. There is a way out. Let's just continue to persevere and pray for the strength to become victorious.

Accepting Your Self-Image

Our article for the week is about Accepting Your Self-Image and its relationship with our same sex attraction. I personally believe that the image we have of ourselves in our minds manifests as behaviors in our daily life. Here is my favorite passage in the article:

"No two lives are the same. We often compare our lives with those of others, trying to decide whether we are better or worse off, but such comparisons do not help us much. We have to live our life, not someone else’s. We have to hold our own cup. We have to dare to say: ‘This is my life, the life that is given to me, and it is this life that I have to live, as well as I can. My life is unique. Nobody else will ever live it. I have my own history, my own family, my own body, my own character, my own friends, my own way of thinking, speaking and acting-yes, I have my own life to live. No one else has the same challenge." - Henri Nouwen

Grateful Heart: An Antidote to Lust

Our wonderful reflection for the week is about gratitude and lust. Please read Grateful Heart. Here is my favorite line in the article:

"Out of a grateful heart comes a view of life that recognizes that we are not entitled to a life free of problems."

Law of Universal Gravitation

Let's talk about Physics this time, my favorite subject back in highschool (yikes, nerdie!) The theory of universal gravitation was first formulated in Sir Isaac Newton's work Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica (thanks Wikipedia for this info). Simply put, the theory states that every object in the universe attracts every other object with a force directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance separating them. Stated algebraically:

F = G ma*mb/r2

where:

F is the magnitude of the gravitational force between the two masses

G is the gravitational constant with a value of 6.67 x 10-II Nm2/kg2

ma is the mass of the first point mass

mb is the mass of the second point mass

r is the distance between the two point masses

A certain professor was lecturing on this topic before an engineering class when a student raised his hand and commented: "I don't think Newton's law is that universal, because it cannot be applied with God as the other object." Strengthening his argument, he continued: "Nobody has seen God and therefore His mass cannot be determined, or at least be approximated. This being so, the numerator of Newton's equation will yield zero and the force of attraction to the teaching of my religion that God loves us all very much; hence He must be attracted to us with a great force, musn't He?

The professor wanted to make his query a class assignment but he was certain that it would definitely frustrate the students so he was obliged to present his views.

The wise prof said, "Indeed, God loves us all, and while we have but only one God, He exists as God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Jesus, God the Son, was sent to earth as human being and lived as a mortal person without sin among us; therefore, His mass can somehow be approximated. Now, if God's existence as the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are identical, then by the transitive property of an equation, the mass of God in Newton's formula can very well be substituted with that of Jesus', making the equation plausible this time. Pondering on the Universal Law of Gravitation, it can vividly be seen that the farther we are from Jesus, the weaker our attraction to Him becomes. As we continue to live against His plans, the lesser we are attracted to God. Surely, God does not approve of this. The option for us to be attracted to Jesus with greater or lesser force is for us to decide, but have I cleared your doubt about the law?" Without hesitation the student replied, "Yes sir, truly, God's love is universal."

So, there is a scientific basis why I should avoid the occasions and places of sins - because the nearer I put myself to it, the greater is its pull on me unless God's grace prevents me from falling into it. I must not of course presume that God's grace will be at hand always especially when I willfully put myself in danger.

It makes sense to me.

(Source: Ancilla Domini, a publication by the Contemplatives of the Two Hearts of Jesus and Mary)

Anne Rice: From Atheism to Catholicism

I was surprised to find out that Anne Rice, author of the Vampire Chronicles series, had converted from atheism to Catholicism. Back in college, I was a fan of Anne Rice's novels. I have read her books Interview with the Vampire, The Vampire Lestat, Queen of the Damned, etc.

Rice has nailed her vampire novels into a coffin for good."I will never write those kind of books again -- never," Rice said. She further said that her books about witches and dark angels "were reflections of a world that didn't include redemption."

"In 2002 I made up my mind that I would not write anything that wasn't for Christ," the former vampire novelist explained. Her latest book "Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt" tells the story of a young Jesus from his point of view: a 7-year-old boy who is discovering his powers and his identity.

In an interview about her conversion, Rice said "It was a personal conversion. After 38 years of being an atheist, faith came back to me. I had to stop writing about vampires, because they had been a metaphor for lost souls. Instead, I made up my mind to concentrate on Jesus Christ."

"Once you really convert, if you really are meaning this, then I think you can perceive the whole world as permeated by his divine providence," she says. "God is as much with the person who drowns in a boating accident as he is with the person who is saved."

Wow! Take that from a former vampire queen. I will try to feature more of her latest book here in the coming days. I'm amazed at how God's grace is at work here. Indeed, the real miracle is the one that takes place in the person's heart.

Her latest book Christ the Lord she says is dedicated to her gay son.

A Decision to Heal

Hey guys, I got this excerpt from an interview with Ansel Beluso by Ms. Rissa Singson-Kawpeng, editor of Kerygma magazine. I am amazed by the transformation that this person has gone through. He is now a husband and father of two kids. Wow, simply amazing! Watch his video at the right side of the panel.

Ever since his decision to reclaim his manhood more than six years ago, Ansel Beluso never again looked back to the rabidly active homosexual lifestyle he once led. In that colorfully gay world of show business, he started out as a movie reporter and, later, a writer-director-host of local television's top rating showbiz-oriented talk shows in the 80s and 90s. For five years, he totally uprooted himself from the biz and he poured himself into rebuilding his broken relationship with God in the bosom of Couples for Christ, a global family renewal community for which he worked as a full-time pastoral worker and missionary. Here are some of the insights that I picked up from his interview:

Interviewer: Many Christian homosexuals desire to change but, according to them, it is impossible. But cases such as yours provide hope and inspiration. How did you do it?

Ansel: I think the Christian homosexual should desire not change but healing. Change usually implies turning from homosexuality to heterosexuality, but healing means journeying from sinfulness to a life with God.

Interviewer: How does the process of transformation begin?

Ansel: The decision to step out of homosexuality must grow from a sincere desire to follow God founded on the belief that His way is not only the best way but the only way to reach one's potential and be genuinely happy. I mention this because there are those whose decision to give up the gay lifestyle is influenced by considerations other than true repentance. They usually end up more gay, more sinful and, therefore, more miserable than ever before.

Interviewer: Any last words?

Ansel: To the homosexuals who see nothing wrong with the lifestyle they pursue, I have only the highest respect for the choice and decision you have made with your life. I just hope you can also find it in you to similarly respect the choice and decision of those who seek a different path.To the Christian homosexuals desiring change, believe that God has sown in you the seed of renewal and restoration. There is hope. Believe you can do it by the grace of the Lord. And know that when you seek God with all your heart. He Himself will give you the grace to find Him.

The Safe Sex Illusion

I got this great article that I would like to share with the readers. It is all about the illusion of engaging in safe sex.

The gay community desperately wants to believe that safe sex will work, but in their desperation could lie the seeds of further tragedy. For many reasons, we believe that safe sex won’t work; that at best, it will only slow down the tragic toll of death in the gay community.

The risks inherent in safe sex are not being told for a number of reasons. First is the good-old American belief that we can work anything out – even have our cake and eat it, too. Second is that the alternatives to safe sex are just not acceptable to much of our population. Third is the unwillingness of many leaders in the gay community to be willing to look at the gay lifestyle realistically, particularly if it means losing ground in the hard fought efforts to gain acceptability for the gay lifestyle. Our belief that safe sex won’t work is not based on the merits or weaknesses of the condom, although they should be considered, but is rather based on the nature of man in general, and of gay men in particular. As you consider the following reasons why we suggest that safe sex won’t work, honestly consider your own life and behavior and the lives and behavior of your closest friends.

1. There is a great tendency for promiscuity among male homosexuals. Gays have seldom wanted to discuss this, but we all know it’s true. The most widely accepted study on this subject (Bell and Weinberg, 1978) showed that forty-three per cent of the male homosexuals in San Francisco estimated that they had had sex with more than five hundred men, twenty-eight per cent with more than one thousand. We may debate the causes of this, but few of us who have been active homosexually doubt the statistics. Sex, at that rate, indicates a tremendous propensity towards sexual addiction. Perhaps it reflects the deep, unmet needs of homosexuals; perhaps, it’s inherent in the nature of male sex – the willingness to get involved sexually without relationship; perhaps it’s totally because of society’s refusal to support stable, gay relationships. The causes don’t matter; what does matter is that a large percentage of the gay population is hooked on a lifestyle of frequent sex, a pattern of behavior that will be terribly difficult to break. Sexual restraint isn’t in the cards for a great many gay men.

2. There is the so often elusive dream of the monogamous relationship. Even before AIDS, most gay men longed for that one guy to whom they could commit their life, that one special man with whom they could settle down in a permanent, faithful relationship. Now, more than ever, that kind of relationship is sought after as a protection against AIDS. But we know what happens most of the time. You settle into this kind of relationship and in three months, or six months, it falls apart and you’re off looking for another “permanent” relationship. But with each new relationship comes a new set of exposures. And within each new relationship, how many times has he (or you) cheated? True, there is a much greater motivation to settle down with one person now, but the difficulties in finding that person haven’t decreased.

3. We have to consider the nature of “passion.” Here we’re not dealing with just gays; we’re dealing with human nature. There seems to be an inverse relationship between the amount of sexual interest, arousal, and excitement, and our ability to use sound judgment. Men have a terrible propensity to do stupid and careless things in the heat of passion. Perhaps, you went out not intending to connect, but you met somebody new and got carried away. Perhaps, you and your partner agreed to abstain from certain kinds of sex, or agreed to use a condom, but in the heat of it all, you threw caution and rational behavior to the wind.

4. Sex is often accompanied by drinking or drugs. Take the risks just described and multiply them many times over if you’ve been drinking. In that setting, the best intentions become almost worthless.

5. “It won’t happen to me.” Mankind has a streak of irrationality in him that defies understanding. The cigarette smoker, the drinking driver, the gay who takes a chance just this one time, all operate on that fantasy that it won’t happen to them. Often it does.

6. Great numbers of gay men who have tested HIV positive, are still sexually active. Those who have not tested positive or don’t have AIDS can only imagine the emotional state of those who find they are infected. But we do see the responses: despair, hopelessness, denial, fatalism. Some plunge into homosexual activity with a vengeance. Some turn bitter. This is not to condemn those individuals; who knows how we would act, but many who know they are carriers, are very active sexually. And many overwhelmed with their own distress are not protecting their partners.

7. Many refuse to be tested. Often those who are most likely to be infected are the most fearful of being tested. Many of these are still very active, sometimes cynically, sometimes naively, sometimes with an attitude of: “We’re all going to die anyway.” All this says that safe sex is, at best, only going to slow down the toll of death and suffering. safe sex, if used, is somewhat effective, but a realistic look at man, at gay men in particular, and especially at ourselves, says that there will be just too many times when safe sex won’t be used – and those times over the next several years could cost you your life.

So what is the answer? It’s pretty obvious, although it’s probably not what you want to hear. The answer is abstinence. Please, before you turn away, consider this option. It may be the only one that can save your life. Take a few more minutes and consider the following:

1. Sexual abstinence is possible. It’s only a fairly recent idea that we have to have sex. Surely, mankind does not always live up to his lofty moral standards, but abstinence is possible for many people. There actually are some very positive things to be said for abstinence, especially for those who have found that their sexual needs have controlled their lives. To break the power of addictive sexual behavior can be tremendously liberating – opening a person up to new kinds of relationships, whole new areas of interest. For so many, what was at first thought to be sexual freedom, has become sexual bondage, and abstinence has become the only way to break that bondage.

2. As with many forms of life-dominating behavior, total abstinence may be easier than constant restraint. Making daily decisions as to how far we can go can be far more difficult than making the one big decision to try to live abstinently. Sexual abstinence often frees people to discover the needs that were driving them into sex in the first place; the needs for love, affirmation, and intimacy, needs that were short-circuited by the frequent sexual fix. Recognizing those needs, a person can start to seek new ways to meet them – ways that are not life-threatening.

3. Abstinence is an extremely hard road to follow, but there are people who will help. Great numbers of people in many organizations listed on this Web site have found that sexual abstinence does work. This may be the point at your life in which you have to make the hardest decision you’ve ever made. Let someone help you who has already been down that road. Your life is precious. Don’t throw it away. In your desperate desire to have both ways, don’t let the safe sex illusion draw you in. Consider all of your alternatives, and choose life.


(Souce: PureIntimacy.Org)