Canned Thoughts

"Busy-busyhan"

Quite busy the past few days so I was not able to update my blog regularly; nevertheless, I still try to post articles every now and then.

Goodbye America!

With all the financial crisis going on and a looming recession I wonder who still wants to go to US. Anyone? Me, definitely not this time. Who knows if things are going to get better in the near future. I hope those Americans spend their hard-earned dollars here instead. At least they may still be able to live the kind of life they have there here. Hello, Uncle Sam!

"Foundation"

Some words of wisdom from a bishop who celebrated mass with us last Sacrament Sunday: "Make Jesus the foundation of your life. You can never count on riches or material wealth that you can lose any time, physical beauty that goes and fades fast, nor success and fame. These things give you "a false sense of security" in our ever changing world" -How true.

Admission to the Seminary and Priesthood

The 2005 "Instruction Concerning the Criteria for the Discernment of Vocations with regard to Persons with Homosexual Tendencies in view of their Admission to the Seminary and to Holy Orders," published by the Congregation for Catholic Education addresses the question of those with SSA and their possible service as a priest in the Catholic Church.

The document teaches that "those who practice homosexuality, present deep-seated homosexual tendencies or support the so-called 'gay culture' do not possess the qualities for formation as a Catholic priest.

The Instruction offers two criteria for excluding someone with SSA from entrance to seminary formation for the priesthood: homosexual practice and self-identification with the "gay subculture." The Instruction recognizes that SSA is not a uniform phenomenon, and thus the Instruction does not contain a universal prohibition; it does call for careful discernment in each individual case. Additionally, the Instruction provides a standard of three years of chaste living before the ordination to the diaconate as a criterion of affective maturity in light of celibate chastity.

When a candidate makes known by admission or behavior that he supports a "gay lifestyle and agenda", it is the bishop's duty to refuse to admit him to a seminary. As always, those charged with the discernment and formation of seminarians have the responsibility to make prudential judgments about individuals who present themselves for ordination to the priesthood.

(Source: Same Sex Attraction: Catholic Teaching and Pastoral Practice by Fr. John F. Harvey, OSFS)

Forever Blue

From LYRICSMODE.COM lyrics archive

Song lyrics | Forever Blue lyrics

Dedicated to all who are still searching for that special person in their life.

The "Gay" Problem

This is an article written by Fr. Odon de Castro, a Benedictine priest, that tackles about the reality of homosexuality among seminarians and clergy. You may or may not agree with his opinions but one thing is for sure - we need to educate and inform the clergy on the nature of SSA and to treat people afflicted with it with utmost care and respect.

In this short treatise, let me attempt to describe how, lately in our times, many priests have deteriorated into becoming "gays" or "pedophiles;" and how they can eventually be restored to be competent priests at the service of Holy Mother the Church.

First, let us recall one general principle of the Spiritual life, the violation of which leads to perversion, while obedience to it will cure all perversions and lead one to holiness of life.

This general principle often mentioned by St. Thomas of Aquinas is this: "He who does not progress in the spiritual life will regress." The need to progress every second and every minute in the spiritual life is often referred to by great spiritual writers as "the sacrament of the present moment," and was the "Little Way" of St. Therese of Lisieux, Doctor of the Church.

Now let us look at the different levels of human existence. There is the SUPERNATURAL level, which is when a person is in the state of sanctifying grace. Then there is the NATURAL level, which is the state of Adam and Eve after the fall and the state of souls without sanctifying grace. And lastly, there is the unnatural level which includes all perversions mentioned in Scriptures like the sins of Sodom and Gomorrha. (Let us skip the finer nuances of each level for the sake of brevity and deal with them in future.)

Applying the above principle of the spiritual life, he who progresses in the spiritual life within the SUPERNATURAL level will never regress down to the NATURAL AND UNNATURAL level. But he who does not progress towards the SUPERNATURAL level will regress down to the NATURAL level and even faster yet down to the UNNATURAL level.

Original sin is the inherited state in which, deprived of sanctifying grace, all men are born with the tendency to go down to the unnatural level.

Take a typical seminarian. Having been being baptized at infancy, he received sanctifying grace which raised him to the SUPERNATURAL level. This grace was what made him desire to serve God in the priesthood. But then because of a worldly way of life, he unawarely regresses down to the NATURAL level. But because he is still attracted to the priesthood, he still manages to enter the seminary in this NATURAL state. If, while in the seminary, any desire he has to love God is increased through sound teachings and deep spiritual life, he will progress from the natural level, and climb up the SUPERNATURAL LEVEL. And if this progress continues because the seminary continues to teach sound doctrine on the spiritual life, he will have no problem in becoming holy and an asset to the Church.

Another hypothetical case. If this baptized seminarian has lost sanctifying grace because of his worldly life, he enters the seminary in the NATURAL level. If there is a good theological curriculum in the seminary, but have a poor, or worse, no program in spirituality, he will NOT progress to the Supernatural level. So he remains as a seminarian in the NATURAL level. Though he could still desire to be a priest, he will have a strong tendency to regress. And the first sign of this regression is his desire to marry, though he may or may not retain a desire to remain a priest. This desire to marry shows that he is in the natural level.

If the seminary cannot raise him to the SUPERNATURAL level, they should encourage him to leave and marry because the Sacrament of Matrimony is precisely for that purpose: to keep him in the NATURAL level and prevent him from deteriorating down to the UNNATURAL level, with the hope that in the future he can progress again up to the SUPERNATURAL level, even as a married man.

But if the seminary does not have a good program of spirituality, thus preventing his spiritual progress that will cause his eventual spiritual regression, and they do not encourage him to marry, even when he has shown signs that he desires marriage, he will soon regress and descend to the UNNATURAL level.

Then the environment in the seminary will dictate the kind of perversion he will fall into. If his environment is with the presence of young children, he could turn out to be a pedophile. If his environment is just a seminary of men who would be priests, but does not offer the right curriculum as stated above; and because he is surrounded by men only (often not observing modesty) then he could regress to becoming gay. The culprit? A non-existent program of spirituality, thereby creating an environment conducive to homosexuality, i.e. the very ambience of present seminaries. Because the seminarian was not progressing in spirituality he regressed towards perversion.

The "reverse" of this sad plight of most seminaries, which is to progress every second and every minute in the love of God, is both the cure and the way to holiness. St. Therese showed this to us in her "Little Way," wherein she could make every tiny, insignificant acts into acts of love for God because her monastery had the right environment that could encourage progress in the spiritual life : a life of prayer, fasting, and good works.


Source: Gloria Olivae

SSA, Courtship, and Marriage

Sometimes a counselor learns that an engaged person has homosexual tendencies. One should seek to discover how deeply seated is this condition. Sometimes it turns out to be a fear of homosexuality due to some incident in the past, and then the person should be advised not to worry. As for telling the future spouse, one should seek counsel from a spiritual director; in general, the future spouse should be told. If, as in one actual case, a person had been judged capable of marriage after psychiatric guidance but feared blackmail because of a situation some years before, he would be wise to reveal it to his future spouse.

If homosexual activity has been chronic in the past, it is necessary to avoid marriage unless one has lived chastely for a very long time and has consulted with professional counselors. Before entering marriage one should have substantial evidence that one can live as a heterosexual person. If this is lacking, it is a grave injustice to the other party to enter into marriage. It makes little difference that the other party has been informed and is willing to take a chance, because usually the other person (man or woman) labors under the illusion that he or she is just what the person with SSA needs. Sometimes it is the person with SSA who enters into marriage with the hope that in this way he or she will overcome one's tendencies. Diocesan tribunals continue to record the tragic annulments which eventually flow from such illusions. Therefore, before marriage, substantial evidence that the person deals with very strong same-sex attractions should lead the counselor to dissuade the person from marriage. The same principle applies to one who has a history of overt activity with both sexes, commonly called "bisexual."

Those Alread Married

For the person with SSA who is already married, the question must be approached from another angle, particularly if there are children in the family. The first point to be determined is the depth of same-sex attraction: is the person primarily attracted to the same sex, attracted to both sexes, or basically heterosexual with occasional homosexual relapses? Usually it takes some time before this is determined, and sometimes only after consultation with a therapist. If it is clear that the person has dealt with same-sex attractions for a long time, and has not controlled his or her tendencies, it may be better for him or her to inform the other spouse rather than to stay in a union which is not only doubtfully valid but psychologically harmful to both persons. In general, older and adult children should be told, while young children should not be told until they reach a certain age. Once the other spouse finds out, he or she may want to take the case to the diocesan marriage tribunal. Of course, if this information came through the confessional, it may not be revealed without the penitent's consent, and then the patient should do it.

If, however, as is often the case, the person has demonstrated the capacity to be husband or wife, despite relapses into homosexual activities on certain occasions, and if the person wants to save his or her marriage, the confessor should encourage him or her to do so, provided the individual is willing to seek regular spiritual guidance and to make use of the various means already mentioned. Whenever a person has seriously fallen against his marriage vows, he or she should inform the other spouse after consultation with a clinical psychologist who may be able to help both the husband and the wife. When the person's behavior seems compulsive, it is necessary that the other spouse be told, and his or her help sought. It seems that secrecy itself increases the tensions which lead to compulsive activity.

Advice to Spouse

Usually in such marital situations there are other factors present which will give the counselor good reason to speak with the other spouse without revealing the counselee's homosexual tendencies. In this way he may reduce tensions between the husband and the wife, and indirectly help the person with homosexual tendencies, who, incidentally, may have very good relationships with the children in the family.

(Source: Same Sex Attraction: Catholic Teaching and Pastoral Practice by Fr. John F. Harvey, O.S.F.S.)

G.K. Chesterton on Love, Marriage and the Sexes

I recommend Gilbert K. Chesterton as one intellectual writer and philosopher you should care to read about. All I know about him is that he was a former Anglican who converted to Catholicism because he realized the errors of his ways and found it later. He is also known as the Apostle of Common Sense. Here are his thoughts about love, marriage, and the sexes - hah, my favorite topic!

"Love means loving the unlovable - or it is no virtue at all." - Heretics, 1905

"A man imagines a happy marriage as a marriage of love; even if he makes fun of marriages that are without love, or feels sorry for lovers who are without marriage." - Chaucer

"Women are the only realists; their whole object in life is to pit their realism against the extravagant, excessive, and occasionally drunken idealism of men." - A Handful of Authors

"The whole pleasure of marriage is that it is a perpetual crisis." - "David Copperfield," Chesterton on Dickens, 1911

"A good man's work is effected by doing what he does, a woman's by being what she is." - Robert Browning

"Women have a thirst for order and beauty as for something physical; there is a strange female power of hating ugliness and waste as good men can only hate sin and bad men virtue." - Chesterton on Dickens

"Marriage is a duel to the death which no man of honour should decline." - Manalive
"The first two facts which a healthy boy or girl feels about sex are these: first that it is beautiful and then that it is dangerous." - ILN 1/9/09

"I have little doubt that when St. George had killed the dragon he was heartily afraid of the princess." - The Victorian Age in Literature

Insanity Defined

I love Albert Einstein's definition of insanity:

"Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results."

You can see many people just like that:

1. An employee who dreams of becoming rich some day but is too afraid to take risk in business and is somewhat contented with his wages and Christmas bonuses. He neither thinks of saving up some money to invest in something more profitable.

2. A sedentary, obese person who dreams of landing a gig as a cover model of Men's Health magazine but is too lazy to lift a dumbbell or go out and exercise.

3. Or a student who dreams of graduating with honors but who lacks the discipline to study his lessons and make it as one of his priority.

If you look around you, you may notice that many people seemed to have given up their dreams and lost all hope for a better future. It is depressing yes, that's why lately I'm not tuning in to the news because most often than not it focuses more on the "negative" events which make you all the more cynical and pessimistic. Indeed, there is a very high price to pay when we choose not to change for the better. The antidote to this insanity is a single-minded purposeness, perseverance, and the willingness to ACT and do the right thing. It will challenge us to get out of our comfort zones and it can be frightening, but isn't it when we're out of our comfort zones that we feel happier and more alive?

Online Intimacy

Is it really possible to develop intimacy online? Read this interesting article on intimacy to find out what it takes to develop real and lasting intimacy. Here's my favorite section of the article:

If we are honest, the intimacy we all want is to be known for who we are—warts and all and still be loved. That intimacy can exist when we are prepared to do the same thing—to discover all the good and bad about someone else and then show them unconditional love.

SSA In Adolescents

Adolescent Fears

Another pastoral problem is that of the adolescent boy or girl who fears that he or she is a homosexual. In light of the fact that much adolescent homosexuality is transitory, the counselor should caution the young person against drawing hasty conclusions. If one realizes that there are deep problems present, one should refer the person to a professional therapist and await an analysis. Usually, it is not clear to the counselor that the adolescent has same-sex attractions. Unfortunately many counselors have accepted the prevailing opinion of our culture, namely, that once one has SSA, the condition cannot be changed. Indeed, some counselors would advise adolescents that feelings of same-sex attraction call for entry into a homosexual lifestyle.

There is good reason to believe that many youth undergo "sexual identity confusion." They do not understand that their homosexual condition may be transitory, a form of pseudo-homosexuality rooted in various motivations. Ruth Barnhouse, for example, sees much adolescent homosexual activity as indicating unresolved problems of dependence and power, and these are the issues that should be addressed. Whatever the complexity of the homosexual conidition in a given youth, it must not be presumed that one cannot be helped to develop heterosexual potential. For this reason one should be persuaded to avoid frequenting gay clubs and associations, gay movie houses, and the viewing of pornography. One should also take steps to become part of some Catholic youth organization in which one can grow in the life of the Church and in his or her identity as a young man or woman created in the image of God. The counselor also should become a friend, not in the sense of a peer buddy, but in the sense that the young person knows that he or she can confide in the counselor without fear of reproof or betrayal.

In some cases, the counselor may find it advisable to encourage the adolescent to inform his parents concerning his apparent same-sex attractions; in other instances, it may be best that the counselor work with the adolescent and if possible, with a priest, so that the youngster will have adequate guidance without having to inform his parents. The young person may have some very difficult obstacles at home that cause him to be too afraid to speak to his or her parents about his struggle with same-sex attractions. This will have to be a decision of the counselor and the young person. If a youngster is afraid to tell his parents that he has SSA, he should seek help from an informed priest who might be able to mediate between the young person and his family. Whether the parents would want the younger members of the family to know about the SSA in their brother or sister is a matter of prudence. My opinion is that such information should not be shared with younger siblings. In my judgment there is also no gain in such a revelation to a family member who does not make the distinction between a chaste and an unchaste person with same-sex attractions. Also, it is not certain that the adolescent will continue to experience predominantly same-sex attractions. It would mean that the youth or adult with SSA does better in having one person in whom one can totally confide while concealing such inclinations from others. Beyond some family members and perhaps a trusted friend, it is imprudent to reveal one's sexual identity issues to fellow students or workers for the reasons already given with respect to the family. It may lead to cruel and inhumane treatment by others. We must not be fooled by the urging of society "to come out of the closet" becaue "gay is good."

The adolescent girl often confuses a "crush" she has on an older girl or a female teacher as a form of homosexuality. She should be shown that she is simply going through a stage of strong admiration and needs to take care not to make an idol out of another person. Meanwhile, she must continue to seek friends within her peer group and learn to form good human relationships with both sexes.

(Source: Same Sex Attraction: Catholic Teaching and Pastoral Practice by Fr. John F. Harvey, OSFS)

Online Petition

Please join and affix your digital signature to the online petition
against the Reproductive Health Bill (HB5043).

Please forward this to your Pro-Life friends supportive of our
advocacy.Display your faith in action! All for Life!

Go and sign the online petition at:

www.petitiononline.com/nohb4110/petition.html

God is with us.

The Temptation of Christ

(All of us are faced with temptations. They are virtually inescapable but Christ showed us the way how to conquer the tempter. Read on.)


Christ was led by the Holy Spirit to the desert to be tempted. He did not go on His own, teaching us not to rush on to temptations. In fact, Christ went to Galilee, having heard that John was imprisoned, to distance Himself from Herod. . .as an example for us.

The devil loves attacking man when he is alone; this seems to give him the upper hand. No one must enter into this situation unless, like Christ, led by the Holy Spirit, precisely to do battle against the wicked spirit.

Whenever you enter God's service, prepare yourself for battle against the evil spirits; life for you will be an ordeal. Because every wicked man is part of the devil's body and, thus, will be your enemy.

The devil begins his temptation by a suggestion, followed by offering delight and, consequently, getting our consent. Christ, being God, could not take delight nor give consent. So, in His case, the devil could only suggest. The trick is to beat the devil in this first step. Victory becomes more difficult in the second and nearly impossible in the third.

The temptation of Christ is similar to that of Adam and Eve. It begins with gluttony wherewith the devil showed Eve the forbidden fruit, as he tempted Christ in turning stone into bread.

The second is vainglory wherewith Adam was offered, "You will be like gods," as Christ was tempted to fly.

The third is avarice, the mere acquisition of the knowledge of good and evil, in the case of Christ-- the acquisition of the kingdoms of the world.
Christ, of course, could have thrown down Satan with a twit of His finger; but He was showing us how to overcome the evil one. How? By refuting him with the commands of Christ.

Faced with someone so vicious, we must not be angered nor take revenge but face them with the commands of Christ. Christ overcame His enemy, not by destroying him but, by bearing with him for a short while.

(Source: caryana.org)

Derma 101

Last week I had the opportunity to try diamond peel at one of the popular skin clinics in a mall. The cost? P500. I just want to experience the "feel" of it and I've been quite curious about this thing for some time. As the name suggests, diamond peel peels off the outermost layer of your skin called the epidermis in order to generate formation of new skin cells and to exfoliate dead skin. I just tried it once but they say you need to undergo many sessions for you to achieve a "smooth" complexion. Unfortunately, that sounds like a lot of money too - all in the name of vanity.

During my derma visit, the dermatologist gave me a diagnosis I was not aware of for many years. I mean I know it's there but I don't know what it is called and I've never visited a dermatologist's clinic until now. She told me I have syringoma. I quickly surfed the net to get more information about this skin disease. In a nutshell, syringoma is a benign lesion commonly found around the eyes (periorbital) that is due to hyperactive secretions of sebaceous glands. It is not painful nor is it particularly bothersome, but it can be aesthetically unappealing. I asked the dermatologist what is the best treatment for this skin lesion and she told me that what they can offer is to electrocauterize the lesions (sounds painful). And the cost? estimates run at around 8K more or less. (whaaat?) All that money without any guarantee of nonrecurrence or less scar formation thereafter. Actually, that electrocautery thing literally electrocutes the lesion - whether it's a wart, nevus, etc., at one application but there is the problem of scar formation post treatment and so I'm on the lookout for better alternatives.

After hours of searching the net and thinking about my predicament, I came across a website about a "noninvasive, nonsurgical, no-fuss, and painless" way to remove unwanted skin lesions. Guess what I'm talking about? It's called a cashew cream. Have you heard of RCC Amazing Touch? I'm sure you have seen this in SM Malls. This cashew cream was a product of the creative imagination of a former barber turned Pinoy inventor by the name of Rolando dela Cruz. This guy's cashew cream formulation has already reaped many awards and recognitions both here and abroad. This is your best option if you hate to go "under the knife" and so I made up my mind to try this. I went to SM San Lazaro and inquired. Oh by the way this is not a skin clinic where you can buy the product and apply it to yourself. The application of this product must be supervised by a trained skin therapist and the procedure is done inside their clinics. The moment of truth - the procedure will cost me around 5K including aftercare products and all. It's relatively cheaper than the electrocautery procedure but still quite expensive for me. The thing here is if you need a repeat application of procedure, that will cost you around 4K more or less. Ouch.

Until one day, my angel whispered to my ear that there is a similar less commercialized skin clinic offering the same service and I wasted no time to check it out. The name of this obscure skin clinic is called Herbal Solutions with branches in Farmer's Plaza in Cubao, Araneta Square in Caloocan, and one branch somewhere in Alabang. True enough it is way cheaper - only around P3K all inclusive of three follow-up sessions and aftercare products! That's a huge savings for me and so I wasted no time and grabbed the opportunity. The procedure took around 30 to 45 minutes. It is true. The procedure is "noninvasive, nonsurgical, and no-fuss" but it was painful! I was in terrible excruciating pain all those time, but I was able to keep myself composed though (grace under pain). It's like being stung by bees, hornets, and wasps, but that's a sure sign that the product is working. Apparently, cashew contains a very powerful ingredient that is capable of providing natural cauterization without the scar after. Yes, there will be scabbing in those areas of the skin treated, but this will fall off naturally after several days without leaving any trace. All that pain is worth it. Right now I have scabs under my eyes, but I can see that something has changed in the texture of my skin around my eyes. It's working little by little and I have no regrets whatsoever.

If you are considering or thinking about having a mole or wart removed from your body, try the nonsurgical noninvasive approach using topical applications of cashew cream. This is both practical and economical. After I complete the healing process I am actually planning to have two moles on my face removed using this procedure and this time it will be much less painful because the lesion is not scattered.

Go natural.

Kung Fu Baby

Move over Karate Kid! Make way to Kung Fu Baby, Bruce Lee's protege in the making. He can surely knock you off your feet with those karate moves...and make you smile.

St. Michael Prayer

(Original prayer composed by Pope Leo XIII to St. Michael the Archangel whose feast we celebrate today along with the other Archangels - Gabriel and Raphael.)

“O Glorious Prince of the heavenly host, St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in the battle and in the terrible warfare that we are waging against the principalities and powers, against the rulers of this world of darkness, against the evil spirits. Come to the aid of man, whom Almighty God created immortal, made in His own image and likeness, and redeemed at a great price from the tyranny of Satan."

“Fight this day the battle of the Lord, together with the holy angels, as already thou hast fought the leader of the proud angels, Lucifer, and his apostate host, who were powerless to resist thee, nor was there place for them any longer in Heaven. That cruel, ancient serpent, who is called the devil or Satan who seduces the whole world, was cast into the abyss with his angels. Behold, this primeval enemy and slayer of men has taken courage. Transformed into an angel of light, he wanders about with all the multitude of wicked spirits, invading the earth in order to blot out the name of God and of His Christ, to seize upon, slay and cast into eternal perdition souls destined for the crown of eternal glory. This wicked dragon pours out, as a most impure flood, the venom of his malice on men of depraved mind and corrupt heart, the spirit of lying, of impiety, of blasphemy, and the pestilent breath of impurity, and of every vice and iniquity."

“These most crafty enemies have filled and inebriated with gall and bitterness the Church, the spouse of the immaculate Lamb, and have laid impious hands on her most sacred possessions. In the Holy Place itself, where the See of Holy Peter and the Chair of Truth has been set up as the light of the world, they have raised the throne of their abominable impiety, with the iniquitous design that when the Pastor has been struck, the sheep may be."

“Arise then, O invincible Prince, bring help against the attacks of the lost spirits to the people of God, and give them the victory. They venerate thee as their protector and patron; in thee holy Church glories as her defense against the malicious power of hell; to thee has God entrusted the souls of men to be established in heavenly beatitude. Oh, pray to the God of peace that He may put Satan under our feet, so far conquered that he may no longer be able to hold men in captivity and harm the Church. Offer our prayers in the sight of the Most High, so that they may quickly find mercy in the sight of the Lord; and vanquishing the dragon, the ancient serpent, who is the devil and Satan, do thou again make him captive in the abyss, that he may no longer seduce the nations. Amen."

SSA in Children

George Rekers and Don Schmeierer have written well on ways of preventing homosexuality in children. Their books cover many insights into the factors leading to same-sex attraction. In addition, one can make a few suggestions based upon studies of the background of many people who deal with SSA. First, the growing male child needs to identify with either his father or some other significant male person in his life. Likewise the growing female child should identify with her mother. In single-parent homes, one notes an absence of any meaningful male with whom a growing son can identify. The child may, however, identify with some other significant male person outside the home, and in that case it is very likely that he will develop as a heterosexual.

Second, the mother in such a home must avoid overmothering, that is to say, attaching herself too closely to her son so that he is not able to have a life of his own. Naturally, either in divorce situations or in home where the father is not present to his children, and usually not to his wife as well, the mother tends to fill the vacuum. This may lead to the kind of relationship with her son which, in turn, is conducive to homosexual proclivities.

Third, parents should give attention to the very early preschool behavior of their children. A boy who does not take part in scrambling or physical games with his peers, who is constantly being protected by his mother from the neighborhood "roughnecks," who is buried in books whith high academic achievement, has some of the characteristics of the development toward SSA.

The point to be made is that all three kinds of conditions together constitute the possibility for the development of male homosexual tendency.

Several factors that contribute to the genesis of a homosexual condition in the female are an experience of the father as non-caring and even brutal toward the mother and perhaps even the child. The little girl may begin to lok at femininity as weak and not worth emulating. The girl may also experience being regarded as a boy by the parents. Sometimes - and this is true also in the genesis of male homosexuality - a spirit of coldness between the parents contributes to the child's inability to identify with and model self after persons of the same sex.

One may suggest that very few persons with SSA come from homes where the parents, by mutual love, have created an atmosphere of caring for each child. As Irving Bieber observed, after his associates and he had made an exhaustive study of 101 males with SSA, not one of them had come from a home where there was a happy relationship between the father and the mother (Homosexuality: A Psychoanalytic Study, New York, Basic Books, 1962). We would be wise to help young married couples to learn how to truly love each other and their children. Then both parents will be careful to treat each other with love, respect, and affection in the presence of the children, and they will know how to affirm their child as male or female.

(Source: Same Sex Attraction: Catholic Teaching and Pastoral Practice by Fr. John F. Harvey, OSFS)

The Importance of a Pure Heart

Forwarded e-mail:

There is some truth to the old bumper-sticker adage, "Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself." We all do a pretty good job of putting ourselves in the way of temptation. While we love to blame it on the devil or on other people, the fact is that we often place ourselves unnecessarily in temptation's way.

Maybe you have felt that if you could somehow remove yourself from all outward enticements, you would never sin again. But that simply isn't true. The problem is within us.

The Bible tells us, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9 NKJV).James wrote, "Temptation comes from the lure of our own evil desires.These evil desires lead to evil actions, and evil actions lead to death"(1:14-15 NLT).
That is what Jesus spoke of in the Sermon on the Mount. He addressed areas of sin that are widespread in our culture today, including lust.

Rather than focusing on externals, Jesus dealt with the heart, saying that if our minds are filled with lustful thoughts, it is as though we have actually committed the deeds themselves. It is still sin before God, and God wants to change our hearts.

Jesus said, " 'You have heard that the law of Moses says, "Do not commit adultery." But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart'" (Matthew 5:27-28 NLT).

There are so many things in our culture today that push this sin. We can't escape it. Everywhere we go, there is something--from billboards to television commercials to web site pop-up ads--that feeds the fire of lust.

So here is what it comes down to: we need to do everything we can to stay out of the way of temptation.

For example, if you are watching TV and a scene comes on that you know will only feed lust, here is an idea. There is this thing you hold in your hand called a remote control. Usually, in the upper right or left-hand corner of this object, there is a red button labeled, "power."If you push that button, something miraculous happens: the image goes away. Use that button. Turn the TV off.

If you are in a movie theater and a scene comes up that would encourage lust, instead of thinking, "This is so horrible. Look at that. I can't believe that," get up and walk out of the theater. Better yet, find out what the film is about before you go inside to see it in the first place.

Here is why maintaining a pure heart is so important for believers. If the only thing that is stopping us from committing a certain sin is the fear of getting caught, then when circumstances change in such a way that we feel we can pull it off, we will indeed go and commit that sin.

We need internal incentive, not just outward deterrents. We need a motivationto do the right thing that is based on a fear of displeasing and dishonoring the Lord. We need a motivation that comes from a desire to not sin against God.

The Bible tells us to bring "every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5 NKJV). Why? Because our thoughts can turn into actions.
It has been said, "Sow a thought; reap an act. Sow an act; reap a habit. Sow a habit; reap a character. Sow a character; reap a destiny.

Each of us needs to periodically look at our lives and say, "Are there any things that I am doing or people that I am spending time around or places that I am going that would encourage lust in my heart and mind?"

Maybe it is something you have been doing, music you have been listening to, movies or television shows you have been watching, or Internet sites you have been visiting that are feeding the fires of lust. These will never satisfy you. They will only make things worse.
Do whatever is necessary and give up what is necessary to keep yourself from falling into sin. Do what you need to do. Take extreme measures, because THE HEART OF THE MATTER IS THE MATTER OF THE HEART. If we can get our hearts changed, then our actions will change as well.

Finish The Year Strong Challenge

We're now in the "ber" months and it is barely less than a 100 days before we say goodbye to 2008. Before the year ends I encourage everyone reading my blog to recall their New Year's Resolutions (if any) or if you do not have I encourage you all the more to make one worthwhile goal you want to accomplish by the end of the year, hence the name of my challenge (Finish The Year Strong Challenge). For me it means getting leaner and reclaiming the "six-pack" abs by year-end. Everyday I'm challenging myself to exercise more and eat right to attain my goal. It can be anything really - whether you want to go places you've never been before or serve the less fortunate it's all up to you. Anything that can make this last quarter of the year fruitful is fine. The mechanics are simple. First you write down your goal/s and commit yourself to achieve it. The only competitor is yourself and it's time bound. Make sure your goals are attainable and realistic and exciting enough to keep you going every day. Consider this as your Christmas/New Year's gift to yourself.

Are you up for the challenge? Stop complaining and making excuses. Challenge yourself and make things happen...one day at a time.

Computer Life

Quote for the Week

"In our daily lives we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy."

Anonymous

Specific SSA Pastoral Problems

As briefly as possible, I should like to present suggestions for special pastoral situations. The first is concerned with parents who want to know either how to cope with the problem of homosexual tendency or to prevent its occurence in family life. (I am basically restricting my advice to parents and relatives of persons with SSA.) Often persons with SSA do not reveal their same-sex attractions until well into adulthood. For good reasons some never do. Parents usually react along the lines of "What did I do wrong that my son or daughter should be gay?"

The best pastoral response is to put the parents at ease. Usually they are not. Certainly, in no way were the parents aware that perhaps, and only perhaps, something in their relationship to their son or daughter was awry, and that it contributed to the development of homosexual tendency in the child. Why, then, should one burden parents with theories about the causal factors in homosexuality? The only prudent and honest approach is to point out that no one knows with certainty what caused the development of homosexuality in their child.

After reducing the guilt quotient in the minds of these parents, the next step for parents is to learn to accept the homosexual condition of their son or daughter without moralistic remonstrances. The child knows that the style of life he or she has been living in not in accord with sound moral teaching, and it will do no good to denounce him or her for it. This does not mean, however, that the parents must approve the lifestyle or homosexual behavior in order to hold on to the love of the child. They can say that, on the one hand, they will always love their child as their son or daughter, but, on the other hand, they disapprove of the lifestyle. It is not advisable to carry the conversation any further. As an adult, the young man or woman knows that he or she is free to seek counsel, but it is not wise to urge the child to talk with some special priest friend, who, the parents think, will dissuade their son or daughter from his or her course of action. (The priest may even confirm him or her in it.)

Eager as parents may be to give such advice, it is better simply to show their child that they really love him or her, even though they cannot approve of the homosexual lifestyle. Parents should continue to correspond with their son or daughter, always praying for a change of heart in their child.

(Source: Same Sex Attraction: Catholic Teaching and Pastoral Practice by Fr. John F. Harvey, OSFS)