Uncomfortable Zone

Now more than ever I am beginning to have realizations that it's not comforting anymore to be in your "comfort zone". At my not-so-young age of 30, living with my folks under the same roof is getting a little more complicated as time passes by especially if they don't see you introducing your future wife or worse they're having a silent realization that you're...ugh...gay. Let me explain.

At home, I enjoy the security and protection of my family - obviously. Food is always available you wouldn't think there is an ongoing food crisis out there. Paying for the water and electricity bill is not my responsibility; I only pay for the internet and cable bills. There is no landlord/landlady to pay a rent to. We also have a live-out househelp who does the cleaning and the laundry.

I work in the comfort of my home. No boss to please, no gossipers and humor mongers to deal with, no ironing of office clothes, eat all you can breakfast, lunch, dinner and merienda (in case you're wondering, my dad is a chef and he thinks the house is one big restaurant), no morning and afternoon rush hours, and no nightshifts! (oh please spare me this one. I really hate working at night. I'm no relative of Dracula for goodness sake. Working at night simply drains me of blood.)

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate all these perks, in fact I couldn't figure out how I would live without those. And here really lies the problem - I think I've gotten used to these things now it's so hard to imagine life without them. I have become dependent that is. The only experience of independent living that I had was when I was assigned in the Queen City of the South from my previous work. For ten months, I lived with my co-workers in a rented bungalow-type house and I never flew back home even on holidays because airfare is expensive. I only kept in touch with my family through phone and that was it! But after being relocated back to Manila, it was all over - or is it?

Recently, my best buddy and I talked over the phone about our future plans. He intimated to me his plans to try his luck overseas and he convinced me to give it a try too. Well, I said yes! At this time, there are no definite plans. We are still looking for the perfect opportunity. The timing is just perfect. This is just what I need to start my life anew - and this time somewhere else maybe for good.

My wanting to leave home is largely motivated by my desire to become independent. I'm fully aware that times are hard and that many young couples nowadays cannot afford to have a place of their own and due to financial constraint are forced to still cling with their parents. I don't want this kind of thing to happen in my life. Life is hard enough. Don't add more hardships by living with your in-laws. Yikes! honestly, I would rather prefer the solitude of a monastery living in company with monks and hermits than to spend the rest of my life having to live with in-laws. That is hell on earth for me.

This is one giant step for me out of my comfort zones and this time it will be for good. I want to live and start a new life somewhere. I'm getting tired. This is one way I can grow as a person - by expanding my horizons, trying new things, being in an unfamiliar place, and dealing with new people. I pray that it will all come to pass.